Robbie: Wil and Adam asked Tripod to do fictional extracts from the Tony-award-winning musical "Urine Town". Tripod love musicals. Well, they also really like wee jokes. Plus, footy pep-talk idiom, just for kicks.

Scod: Lights up...
Gatesy: Curtain opens...
Yon: Three... four...

Tripod: Just another happy day in Urine Town,
There's nothing to damp your mood or get you down,
In Urine Town.

We don't have problems,
That we can't work out,
Wee, wee, weeeee...
In Urine Town.

Scod: Excuse me, sir, can you direct me to the theatre? I came all the way from Pissburgh, and I'm going to make it big! I'm going to write my name on every wall in town!
Yon: (Old man voice) You might as well go home, son,
You might as well go home.
The urine factory's closed,
And you (mutters incomprehensibly).

Scod: What was that last bit, Mister?
Yon: You might as well go home, son...
Scod: Yeah, yeah, sir, I heard that.
Yon: There used to be a steady stream of gold here,
Now it's just wet and cold here,
Since the urine factory closed down.
Scod: Hey sir, but excuse me, what is wrong with you?
Yon: I'm really pissed.
Scod: Oh, fine. Well, you sound like Yon doing an impression of Tom Waits.

Yon: (Other voice) I couldn't help but overhear your conversation.
Scod: And who are you, Mister?
Yon: I'm the guy who tells you about the town meeting.
Scod: Oh!

Yon and Gatesy: (Assorted people talking at once)
Scod: Order! Order!

Tripod: It's all gone to piss here in Urine Town,
It's all gone down the drain.
Nothing gets passed here in Urine Town.
What are we gonna do?

Yon: I know! We might as well go home...
Scod: Oh, shut up, will ya Mister! Order!
Gatesy: Order! Order!
Scod: The mayor wants to speak.

Gatesy: Everything might stink here in Urine Town,
But if we all pull together as a team,
We can kick another goal here in Urine Town,
We can push through the pack here in Urine Town,
It's not over 'till the siren goes in Urine Town...

Yon: Yes, but what are we going to do?
Scod: Oh, excuse me. I have an idea!
Yon: Don't listen to him, he's from Pissburgh.
Scod: But wait, listen. Hear me out. We don't need the urine factory. We can make our own urine!

Tripod: (Sounds of disagreement) That's preposterous! Surely not!
Yon: (Female voice) Wait! Wait! I believe in him.

Scod: She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
Skin as white as porcelain, eyes as blue as the bluest water you can imagine.
A handy duck-shaped neck, perfect for all those awkward, hard-to-reach spots.
I felt that I'd pissed my life against the wall until this moment.

So come on, everyone! Pull down your pants! We can all put in our share! This town's destiny is in our own hands!

Yon and Gatesy: Future's bright and clear in Urine Town...
Scod: So the town shook off the yoke of corporate oppression.
Yon and Gatesy: You can hear for miles around the hissing sound...
Scod: And pissing became something that everyone did.
Yon and Gatesy: In Urine Town...
Scod: And I married that girl.
Yon and Gatesy: In Urine Town...